.....And That Today We Are Together

Hello my Friends and Happy Fall! I hope as you read this latest post you are doing well and that you are enjoying some lovely Fall weather where you are!

I love all the seasons but to be honest Fall is my favorite! I remember the year that Scott and I moved to Fort Wayne, Indiana and the first time I saw the magnificent colors of the leaves as they changed. I remember driving down country roads and being surrounded by absolute brilliance….the beautiful colors of these tall, majestic trees. I had never seen anything like that and I was so very impressed by the artwork of God! The cooler temperatures, the smell of wood fires burning in peoples fireplaces, the wonderful cozy feeling of drinking hot chocolate while watching the leaves as they blew gently down to the ground. I remember the pumpkins sitting on front porches surrounded by the leaves as they fell. I can to this day still hear the “ crunch, crunch” as we walked over these leaves while attending Fall Festivals and buying delicious apples to take home and bake into a pie or fruit crisp! I cherish these memories and I think that is why I have always loved this sampler! It brings to mind all those happy Fall days and every time I look at this sampler I smile!

This week here in the United States we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. We will be setting aside this day to give thanks for the many blessings that we have been given and for all of the people in our lives. To be honest I don’t want to wait until Thursday to tell all of you how special you are to me and how very thankful I am to have each and every one of you in my life.  You have touched my life in a very special way whether I have known you for just a few weeks or all of my life! I am so thankful for all the joy you have given, for all the smiles and tears that we have shared, for the memories we have made and the small moments that have made each day more special. Each and every one of you have helped me through this journey and I am forever grateful for that wonderful gift!

But why today you might ask? Well I think my answer encompasses a lot of things. First and foremost it is because I am truly grateful for all of you! I have tried to let the people that I love know that I love them a lot! I have tried to do this all of my life not just since I was diagnosed with cancer and began my journey to live. Life is a precious, beautiful gift that we have been given and I try really hard to live each day with LOVE because that to me is what is most important! To simply love! I do not accomplish this every day….I think most days I fail….but I try and my prayer each morning is that I can be a blessing to someone today. Most days I am given so much love….from my husband, my children, my extended family and my friends and my prayer is that I share that love with all of you! That is important to me.

Today I said good-by to a friend of mine. We met in the chemo room just a few short weeks ago! We laughed and visited and formed a friendship. We shared a little bit about our journey, we laughed over the trials of losing our hair, we talked about our fears and our favorite childhood books but most of all we just talked about us and how much we wanted to win this battle. Kim may be losing her battle but my friends she will win the war because she will live on in the memories of her family, her friends and me!  She reached out a hand of friendship that day and I will be forever grateful for the way to short but oh so special small moments we had! I am so thankful for the time we did have and I am so thankful to realize yet again how each and every day does count! No day is ever wasted, no smile is ever meaningless and no act of kindness, however small it might seem, is ever worthless! Love does matter….Love does count…and when it comes right down to it….Love is what is so very important.

And so my friends….let us take one more look at the sampler that I love. The last line has always been my favorite…. And today, just for a few moments as we share a small moment on this blog, I am so very thankful because “ today we are together” and life doesn’t get any better than that!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy!

Love and hugs to all of you!

Love, Jenny

Just A Moment

Hello my dear friends. I know you are probably very surprised to see another post from me! Shocked might even better describe what you are feeling…LOL…but I hope you can take a deep breath….there aren’t we feeling better already?….maybe have something cool to drink if it is hot where you are….and believe me it has been HOT where I live….and share a simple, quiet moment with me. I so enjoy your company. Are we ready? Ok then here we go……turn on the music, scroll down through the pictures and Carolien? If you are like me you might need a tissue or two….winks.

One of my very favorite quotes states that “ Time is not measured by clocks but by moments.” I have always believed that the simple little moments, the big moments, the sad moments, the happy moments and the moments filled with love are what make up our lives, help define who we are and give us lasting memories that last a lifetime. I treasure all the moments that I can spend with those I love, and I love to remember them at later times. Last night I had just such a moment. It was completely unexpected, one that actually took my breath away and made my heart smile. It was just a quick little moment, probably going unnoticed by the others in the room, yet to me it was so very special. It was early evening, the sun had not quite set yet, but its hues were the soft darker colors, you know, the ones where it looks almost golden, like it is tucking in our little corner of the world all safe and cozy before it goes and shines brightly on the other side of the world. The air conditioner was still on because it has been so very hot here these past few weeks, dinner was simmering in the crock-pot, the smell of fresh baked bread and lemon cupcakes still lingered in the air, and if you happened to open the door you would smell the beautiful smell of freshly cut grass, because that is what Scott and Andrew had been doing. Andrew was taking a short break before he went out to finish up the front grass and was visiting with me. Tiffany our white, orange and grey calico cat started playing the funniest game and we were laughing so hard. We called Emily in to watch and she started laughing as well and she was smiling and at that very moment as I was watching her it was as if God reached down and very gently pulled the veil aside and what I saw was this beautiful young woman, who is so very special to me, who brings so much joy to so many people’s lives and all of a sudden I knew how blessed I was to have her as my daughter! My daughter! What a precious, no words could ever express, gift!

Emily was born in the spring of 1995! It was such a beautiful time of year with the flowers blooming, the grass and hills all green, little birds singing in the trees and a new baby sleeping in her cradle at our house. She was Daddy’s Little Girl and Mommy’s Little Pooh Bear and Andrew’s Little Playmate right from the start. She was an easy going baby who slept well, ate well and adjusted to our busy lives. She smiled first for her Daddy which brought tears to his eyes and always needed to have Mommy around or , you guessed it, the crying would begin! She would laugh at Andrew, love to read stories and loved to hear music playing. She loved to be rocked to sleep and “You are My Sunshine”, “ Hush Little Baby” , “This Little Girl Of Mine” and I Love You from Barney were her favorite lullaby’s. She cherished the white blankie that I made for her and she had to carry two pacifiers with her at all times. She took her first steps on her first birthday, going to see the balloons, and she loved to give “backward hugs!” As she grew she loved to play with her dolls, whenever we had to drive somewhere we had to wait until her “kids” were buckled in too…grins…and keeping up with Andrew was her only goal every day! She loved to do art projects which she proudly shared with me, just ask her about her cow head someday…lol…she loved to have stories read to her on our white bench, play with her little friends, and oh what a great day it was if we went to McDonald's for chicken nuggets! Before I could turn around she was riding a horse like she was born in the saddle, loving to play soccer but don’t be deceived….she could and still can hit a softball like you would never believe…just ask Scott who has had two pairs of sunglasses broken and has had to duck quickly to avoid being hit while pitching to her! All you have to say is “Blue Jay” to make her double over with laughter and if you are ever looking for Emily just follow the music playing. She makes the most beautiful jewelry and plays the guitar effortlessly….she is such a natural with music! She loves animals and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if she lives on a ranch some day .  She is very artistic and can draw and paint just like her Dad! She loves the beach and everything having to do with it…just like her mom…coffee at Starbucks is a Father Daughter tradition and she has been spoiling us all with all the lovely baking she does! Emily is smart , has a wonderful sense of humor, and most importantly she shines brightly, every day for our Lord! She has seen me through this journey with love and I never would have made it this far without her love and support! Looking into my daughter’s eyes I see strength and she has shared that strength with me, I see hope and she has in turn shared that hope with me and given me a reason to keep on believing, to believe that tomorrow will be better, that dreams do come true.  She loves without holding back and because of her I am the woman I am today!  She is an amazing young woman who I am so very blessed to call not only my daughter but my friend! I love you to the moon and back a zillion times and then some, Emily and I always, always will! So just keep on dreaming, singing your song to the world and loving all who you come in contact with! You make this world a better place, dear Emily, and you certainly make our corner of the world brighter and filled with more happiness and joy then we could ever have imagined! Thank you for every hug, every kindness and every bit of laughter that you have shared not only with us but with all you know! You are truly a gift from God!

Love~ Mom

I just thought you might enjoy seeing some of our family pictures and getting to know my daughter a little better! I for one am smiling from ear to ear!

~A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous~

Love, Jenny

Loving Me Through It

Hello Dear Friends…..

First Diagnosed

First Day Of Chemotherapy

Andrew's 24th Birthday

Last Picture With My Hair

More Chemotherapy

Surgery Day

Surgery Day

Emily's 21st Birthday

Me & Em

32nd Wedding Anniversary

Relay For Life

Relay For Life Luminary

Hospital Stay

Christmas Eve With Friends

My Kids

My Kids Again

My Guy

Last Day Of Radiation

Enjoying Some Time

Carolien

Sofia

Vickie

Tammie

Heidi

Scott's Mom

My Mom And Dad

"Emergency!" Fans

A Surprise Visit

All My Friends

He Truly Loves Me Through It

It has been said that  “a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

This post is a post to say THANK YOU to each and every one of you who took time from your life to sing my song back to me when I had forgotten the words! Every card, every letter, every email, every little package, every hug, every hand that held mine, every prayer that was whispered, every thought that was thought and all the love that was shared with me has meant more to me then you will ever know! I am so very grateful to all of you for loving me through this journey! I could never have done it without you! The road has been long and my bend in the road has had some pretty sharp turns along the way, but I can see the bend straightening out, I can see light at the end of the tunnel and I can now see the other side! Our God is such an awesome God!

These past few months have been hard, really hard. I have made more trips to City of Hope, a new plan for my treatment was reached. It took me 6 months just to get the symptoms of the super bug under control. I am not receiving chemotherapy right now but two other drugs, Herceptin and Perjeta , that are fighting these nasty little cancer cells. I will receive them every 3 weeks until at least April. I finished 33 sessions of radiation on June 1oth. I was really happy when that was finished because radiation was sooo exhausting… every day….a 2 ½ hour drive round trip. One thing is for sure… I was never alone! Never once! Two years ago today, when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, Scott held me when I cried and promised me I would not walk this road alone, I would not make this journey on my own!  He kept that promise….and has been there every step of the way…loving me through it, making me feel special, helping me feel normal. I have never loved this man more than I do right now! One night I received an email from Emily. I remember laughing because she was just in the next room, but the tears started flowing when I listened to the song she had sent me! It is the song I have on here today.... I’m Gonna Love You Through It by Martina McBride. Emily, you are so very dear to me. You have been there through it all, loving me through it, making me laugh, reminding me not to take myself so seriously, keeping everything in perspective, letting me know that I will not always feel like this and most important that I do make  a difference in your life. And through it all…. you still manage to find yet another kitten that needs rescuing! ( LOL) I am so very proud of the woman you have become! Thank you Emily for sending me this song. I love this song and it has been the song I have listened to more times than any other. It has gotten me through some pretty rough patches and has reminded me time and time again that I have never been alone…..that I have been extremely blessed because I have had a remarkable support system all the way….that I have been given love through every step of my journey. Andrew, every time I look at you I see the man that you are and am so grateful that you are my son! You have been my other bookend, always up for an episode of Emergency or spur of the moment bear hunts! You make my tea just as I like it and your chocolate chip cookies are out of this world delicious! Because of you I have realized that I am braver than I ever believed possible! And Holly….You walked into our front door one afternoon and right into my heart! Your love, encouragement, understanding when I am so very tired and shining spirit have meant so very much to me! The way you love Andrew does this Mother’s heart so much good and the friendship you share with Emily is beyond priceless! I love you like my own daughter and I know I couldn’t have come this far without you!

Being a good friend to a friend who has cancer is not easy. Giving love, support, hope and encouragement requires time and patience. Every person who fights cancer fights it in their own way but this I can tell you….being there for a friend who is fighting for her life is the best gift you can ever give to her! The little notes of encouragement, the flowers sent to her, the phone calls to see how she is doing, the postcards and little packages, the offer to help clean her house or make a meal or drive her to a treatment all is so very much appreciated. Even if she is too tired to talk or answer an email just knowing you are there is so very valuable. Sitting with her, even if she falls asleep, means so much. For me personally, just knowing I was never alone, that there was someone to call if needed gave me great comfort. After I lost my hair and was so sick during chemo and after losing a breast I didn’t feel like Jenny anymore. I looked different and felt different. All I wanted was to feel normal again not a person with cancer….just Jenny. My family and friends gave that to me. To them I was just Jenny….it didn’t matter that my breast was gone, that my hair was different, that some days I was too tired to do much of anything or that I cried over the silliest things. Because of that I soon came to realize that Jenny….the real Jenny….the one that really matters…..was still there, shining brightly, for all to see. My journey is not over yet. I still have a ways to travel, I still have to be VERY careful with infections and I still have cancer to fight. But I have made it this far, I am coming out the other side, I am shining brightly for my Lord and I have YOU! So….I will carry on and continue to be so grateful for all of you that have stood by me, that will continue to stand by me and who will always Love Me Through It!

So thank you all so very much for loving me through this journey, for remembering my song and singing it back to me and most important for being the blessing that each of you have been in my life! I have met some amazing people as I walked this road, and each and every one has touched my life and found a place in my heart. You all hold a special place in my heart, a very dear place and you will be there for always! After all friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest…. it’s about who came and never left your side. I love each and every one of you! Forever!

Love, Jenny~