H.O.P.E.

Hello Friends and Welcome......

H.O.P.E.

Four simple letters that together make one small word. HOPE. Four simple letters that make one small word that has a powerful impact on everyone.

HOPE. A beautiful, wonderful gift from our Lord.

HOPE.....sometimes it is all you have left at the end of the day and do you know....if you have HOPE at the end of the day....then you have everything!

Hope. I think about that word a lot lately. 

Shortly after I was diagnosed with cancer Scott and I were out running some errands. You know....the fun kind....grocery shopping....the library ( so I had some reading material while I recuperated...grins...and picking up what our family would need to get us through the next few days. I was getting ready to have my port surgery and I knew I wouldn't have the energy to do this for a while, so I was trying to stay ahead of it all. On our way to our car we passed a little tiny shop that has been there for years. I love to look in the window and that day was no different. The only thing that was different was that a little bear in a little jean dress was looking back at me. She had "the look"  and her little face went right to my heart. I know this sounds crazy but tears filled my eyes when I saw this little lady and so before I knew what was happening Scott was in the store and purchasing my tiny little friend. She is so small she fits in my hand, she is easy to hold and fits nicely in my purse. Do you know what else she fits nicely on. The little table next to my chemotherapy chair. She keeps me company while I am having my treatment, she makes me smile when there might not be a lot to smile about and she gives me something to hold on to when I need that little extra something. I named her Hope...because everyone needs a little HOPE to carry with them. Little did I know how much that little statement would inspire our family.

I needed a wig! Okay I needed a wig bad! I had tried to find a wig before I lost my hair but that doesn't work very well. I found that out the hard way....because after I lost my hair the wig that I had....was not right. In fact it really didn't look right on me and was good for quite a few laughs. I needed help and I needed help fast. Who do I call on for fashion advice? Who do I trust when I need to know that something is really right? Who else but my daughter Emily. She has wonderful taste and I can always count on her to find just the right something.....and this "something" was a wig for her mom! Before I go on with my little story there is something you should all know about my daughter. She knows how much I dreaded loosing my hair. She knew how afraid I was about loosing my identity. Most important of all is she knows how much the mother-daughter thing means to me. One day when we were talking about a wig for me she asked what color wig I was going to get. She reasoned that now was my chance to try something new, now was my chance to be anything I wanted to be. She went one step further however. She promised me that if I found a wig in a different color other then blonde she would color her hair to match so that we would still look like mother and daughter. You guessed it.... I cried! Anyway off we went to look for a wig!

We went to Michelle's Place first. Michelle's Place is a wonderful place to be if you are fighting Breast Cancer. They have so much information, so much support and everything you could possibly need while fighting this horrible disease. We started looking at wigs. While we were there another woman was looking for a wig as well. She was with her daughter also. Emily and I were laughing along with the lady that was helping us. This woman was having a hard time. She was sad, she needed something to make her feel a little bit better from the effects of cancer. We started talking. We started sharing some things about how chemotherapy affects us. We started to laugh and together we found a wig that fit her perfectly and made her smile. Here were two women that were facing the same thing, we both were without hair, food and water tasted different, our skin was dry but that day as we hugged good-by I realized that we both left with something important. HOPE! Hope that this journey would one day be over, hope that we would have many more years shopping with our daughters and hope that someday we would meet again cancer free. As I left Michelle's Place that day and shared with Scott my experience and feelings on hope he decided to make something for Michelle's Place so that all who enter there can leave with just a little hope to hang on to. This is what he designed. I love it! It now sits proudly in the reception area of Michelle's Place. The pink bear makes people smile when they see her swinging there and the little notes in the tray? Little messages of hope all hand written by Emily.....so that her mom's feelings of  "everyone needs a little HOPE to carry with them" can be realized in this simple way.

H.O.P.E. Four little letters that make a small word that has so much impact! Hope! I have my little bear Hope that makes me smile but the truth is my real hope is in my Lord. This journey is not an easy one and it requires patience and courage every day. Some days are good but others aren't and on those days I remember that the eyes of the Lord are on those who hope in Him and His love!

H.O.P.E. It is something that I receive from all of you everyday. Your thoughts, prayers, emails and words of encouragement bring me hope and joy! Tomorrow is another chemotherapy treatment. I have HOPE that maybe it will be easier this time....but either way I will get through it because I have hope and love and so therefore I have everything!

I'll write again soon.

~Jenny~